If I know you, Friends, many of you will be checking in on this little blog, knowing that this day is a hard one for the Damaska house.

Because two years ago, we took William and Kate into a small room and told them that their sister was going to die.  It is a memory that haunts me.

Several hours later, we held her as she left this earth, straight into the arms of Jesus.

This morning, Eliza found all of the baby books on the bookshelf in the corner.  She (of course) pulled each one out.  And when I went over to her, she handed me Annie’s Baby book . . .  the half-filled out book that I so wish was bulging with memories like the others.  She had no idea what her pudgy little hands on her sister’s book did to my heart.

I found this letter I had written to her:


January 25, 2011
My Sweet Annie girl,
I have been missing you so much lately.  You would be almost 23 months old now and for some reason today I just wanted to get out your book and add a little more to it.  I find myself choking back tears as I flip through the pages and I think, “We were so happy.  I wish we were still happy like that.”  But the truth is, your life has changed me so much.  And my human wishes aren’t God’s Plan for our family.  So I continue to trust Him.  He has been so faithful to us.

I wanted to put these pictures on this page because my most important wish for you came true.  You, My Girl, are with Jesus!  In His Real True Presence!  How I long for what you have!  I miss you so very much, but I love to think of you worshipping Him.  I picture you in His arms, safe and secure.  And Healed.  My wish for you.

I love you,


The verse we chose for Annie before she was even born was Isaiah 30:18:

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for him.” 
Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)

Little did I know how much I would need the very next verses in the months (and years) that have followed:

“Oh yes, people of Zion, citizens of Jerusalem, your time of tears is over. Cry for help and you’ll find it’s grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he’ll answer. Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he’ll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: “This is the right road. Walk down this road.” 
Isaiah 30:19-21 (The Message)
May you see “Grace and More Grace” in whatever you face today.
Thank you for praying for our family.
P.S.  Here is the post I wrote about those two very, very precious pictures of Annie in her highchair, with her plastic baby Jesus.
P.S. 2 And here is my favoritest post I wrote right after Annie was born.