Fall, and particularly September, is a hard time for me. Each year I think it will be better, but the truth is, it’s just different. I process my sorrow in new ways. This year it’s seeping in several ways: a friend who is desperately sick, songs I haven’t heard in years come on the radio (I don’t even listen to the radio), tears about little things (I’m not typically a crier). I’m paying close attention and listening deeply this month.
September 22 will mark nine years since I last held my daughter, Annie. Some of you have been around since then, when I used this blog to process those first gut-wrenching years of grief. But many of you are new… and many of you are here because you’re processing your own sorrow. Let me pull you in close and tell you what my dearest friend said to me in those early days: You can do this. There will be so many moments you don’t think you can, but you will. Jesus promises His presence, He promises to gently lead us and to be near to our broken hearts.
And yet. Yet there are days when we can only sit in silence because what we expected these years to look like are so very different from what they actually are. Somewhere along the line, our expectations and our reality took very different paths and it has left us reeling in the wake.
I was sitting with a friend who is going through some very dark days and clinging desperately to Jesus. She pointed out 2 Corinthians 10:5 to me and said, Do you know how hard it is to take every single thought captive and make it obedient to Christ?
When we live in this intersection of hope and sorrow, we see so clearly that even in the midst of our questions and longings, Jesus gives us hope. There is grace on the hard days and always compassion from a God who intercedes for us when we don’t have the words to pray. It’s only because of His strength in us that we can take every thought captive.
And that’s part of my message on a blog post I wrote for a new friend, Ruthie. She’s asked me to hop on her blog every few months to share a few words. Can I shyly ask you to visit her and read my first post? It’s called, “The Reality of Motherhood when it’s Not What You Expected”. Amen. If anything, the story I lead with is one that I’ve been sitting on for several years, waiting for the perfect opportunity. It makes me laugh every time.
I’m praying for you today, my friend. May you find the courage to nestle yourself into the gap between your expectation and your reality, clinging closely to Jesus who promises to lead you each step of the way.
{Hello.} I get it. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with the grief of life. But I believe Jesus calls us to live in the intersection of hope & sorrow, redeeming the broken places and calling us to live with hearts of joy. I’m Sarah and I’d love to invite you along for the journey. Click here to join my mailing list.
