This is a hard time of year for us and for many of our family and friends. It was six years ago Friday that we received news that my cousin, Heidi, and her baby Jasmine were killed in a car accident. We are so grateful for Jasmine’s twin, Joseph, who is a happy little man. He and JoAna are precious reminders of Heidi and Jasmine. A year later, on March 15th, little Lauren Moyer left us after a short 10 weeks. There are many sharp memories in my head that replay from that time, making it hard to believe that these events were so long ago. Through it all we have to believe that God has a plan bigger than we can conceive. Here is a blurb from Jamie’s blog from the day Lauren would’ve turned five. Please pray for Matt & Jamie and for my family as you remember them this week.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Time stands still
Everything seems to happen so fast. Time goes by soooo fast. Matt and I have been married for 7 years and are having our fourth baby! When did all that happen?! The boys are growing up so quickly and time just keeps on doing it’s thing. It’s different though when it comes to Lauren. Today she would’ve turned 5 years old. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around. We were never able to watch her grow up, she is stuck at 2 1/2 months. She will just always be that for me, my little baby girl. My baby who will always be a baby. I couldn’t imagine her at 9 months or 2 years and most certainly not 5! She is just a precious, tiny baby. It will be that way no matter how much time passes.
I know something now that I didn’t know then. Some of the greatest gifts God gives us are a disguised in circumstances that don’t look so “gift-like”. I remember getting more and more bad news from doctors and I just kept thinking “Why did God give us such a beautiful gift only to take it away from us.” But that’s not how it happened at all, looking back. God gave us the beautiful gift of Lauren and she will remain in our hearts forever! From the moment I laid eyes on her (probably before), she had my heart. She nestled her little self right in and has been there every since. The Lauren spot in my heart is not an empty space to be filled with something else now that she isn’t with us here on earth. It is fully occupied with my love for her that will never change or go away. No other child will fill it, no amount of counseling, happy times, or gifts. It is already filled to the brim and overflowing with her…her memory and my love for her.
Today there will be no party, no gifts, no cake with five candles on it. The celebration will happen in our hearts though as we remember what a wonderful day December 23, 2001 was. The day God gave us our baby girl, Lauren. I know God hears the cries of my heart and I’m confident that today in heaven she is getting lots of extra hugs and kiss meant especially from her mommy and daddy.
Heaven is lucky to have her!