We spend a lot of time at the Cemetery.
It’s right across the street, actually. I can look out of my front window and see it. I love it and hate it all at the same time.
The day after we got home from the hospital, we walked over the the Cemetery to see Grandpa Sam. Grandpa Sam is a surrogate Grandparent to the kids. He’s the one that brought a pony over for William to ride on his first birthday and who dutifully feeds my children chocolate donuts on Sunday mornings while I’m in Worship Practice. He’s also in charge of the Cemetery.
And so we walked over to see him the day after Annie died. William wanted to ride his bike over, so he did. And then we cried because we didn’t want to talk to Grandpa Sam about where to bury our daughter. He didn’t want to talk to us about it either.
In the end, we received a beautiful gift. You see, in 1954, Grandpa Sam and Grandma Donna buried a sweet baby of their own. Her name was Jane Ann. And right beside little Jane was an empty plot. That’s where our Annie Jane is now.
There’s already grass growing at her grave. It’s so green. I guess I take note of the green-ness since everything else around us is turning brown. I hate that the grass is growing there– a reminder that time is marching on without our Sweet Girl. But the green grass also reminds me the God has not abandoned me. There is new growth on top of death.
The price we have paid is oh, so high.
I have to admit that as I hear of lives being changed, of ways that Annie’s story is impacting lives, I have a hard time being glad. I mean, I’m thankful and grateful. But couldn’t there have been a different way? Sometimes I find myself asking God why He couldn’t accomplish His purpose by doing a miracle instead.
But God will redeem it. Someday I will know the full story. It’s the waiting between now and then that is so hard.